The Story of Nicholas' Early Arrival: First Doctor Appointment

Monday, April 20, 2009

First Doctor Appointment

Nicholas has his first appointment with his pediatrician. She hadn't received his discharge summary from the NICU yet so she didn't have a chance to study his history. She looked over the copy I brought and said he looks healthy and good. She also said he is a very good baby. According to their scale he is 11lb 10oz and 20 1/4 inches. That is a huge difference than the NICU scale yesterday. She said that because of his weight we don't need to wake him in the middle of the night to feed him and he only needs to eat 6 times a day. That was so nice to hear. Even though we had to wake him last night, we took turns, we had a good night and aren't overly tired today. She was concerned that he may have another hernia so she sent us to see his surgeon. The surgeon said that it isn't a hernia but it is just still healing. He said that since Nicholas' hernia was so large it might take up to 6 months to heal. He said the lump is probably just fluid but doesn't feel the need to do an ultrasound on it at this time. We have to go back to see him in a month. We have to go back to the pediatrician in 7-10 days. She wants to see him pretty often in the beginning.

So far his time at home has been good. He has been eating well except for his 5am feeding today. He still loves his swing and isn't afraid of the animals. Bella and Jasper seem to have taking a liking to him. Jasper will just sit by him and watch him. Mark even said he thinks Jasper is in love.

The oxygen and apnea monitor are a pain in the butt because of the cords and tubes. We have to bring the monitor with us whenever we move him because the cord isn't long enough. So far we have only moved him to and from the living room and our bedroom. It would be so much easier if we only had the oxygen. The monitor went off a bunch of times because of his leads coming off. It screams and won't stop until you get the his clothes open and fix his leads. It is really annoying. We also have to find some better tape to keep his nasal cannula on his face.

Tomorrow should be a more relaxing day. We don't have any appointments so we can stay home all day. I will post some new pictures tomorrow.

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Preemie Experience

The Preemie Experience
The preemie experience is the shattering of all your dreams
For a normal, healthy delivery,
Of the ability to carry home a beautiful squirming bundle
After a short stay in the hospital.
It is lying there in your hospital room listening to
The happy sounds of whole families joined
Together by the birth of a grandchild, cousin, niece,
or nephew, and knowing that your
Child is miles away and may not survive long enough
For you to see or simply touch.
It is that first glimpse of a skinny, scrawny, not much bigger
Than a Barbie doll child
And feeling, fear, awe, and joy for such a fragile soul.
It is sitting by your baby’s “bedside” day after day,
Week after week, month after month,
Alternating between the emotional high of “Look, his eyes are open,” or “he’s crying!”
And the lows of “I’m sorry, something has shown up in the ultrasound,”
Or even “There is nothing we can do…”
It is hearing the alarms go off for the twentieth time in less
Than fifteen minutes because your
Child’s heart rate keeps hitting zero.
It is watching children dying around you, wondering if
Your child will be next.
It is hearing your child’s cry of distress as the nurses
Insert yet another IV and do another
Round of daily blood tests.
It is meeting other parents of children who are doing far better
And wondering, “Why me?”
And meeting parents of children who have just died,
And praising God for His mercy
To your child and feeling guilty because your child is alive
And someone else is grieving for theirs.
It is days of nightmarish testing and coping with less
Than positive results to the tests.
It is days of joy at seeing the first eyelash appear,
The child gain a whole ounce in one day,
And two bright shiny eyes look at you and into your soul,
And knowing that your child now recognizes you as Mama or Dada;
Or perhaps looks at you and does not see you at all…
It is that final hurdle before coming home!
It is the sorrow of waiting for the monitor company Representative to show you what to do
If the alarm sounds when your child is choking,
Gasping for breath, or simply dying.
It is the joy of just being away from all those nurses
And tubes and wires and beeps, and
Walking into the nursery you hastily prepared because,
after all,
The child wasn’t due for another four months!
It is thinking the nightmare is over…only to realize it still Continues in the form of
Such acronyms as PVL, RSV, BPD, CP and numerous others.
It is the final realization that those developmental delays
Have to be dealt with,
That reflux is a normal and unfortunate
occurrence in most preemies,
That the constant fight to gain weight is in direct proportion
To a preemie’s ability to do so.
It is watching a child struggle to pick up his or her head, sit, Crawl, or walk.
It is witnessing only silence when the child should be babbling,
Because the child cannot hear.
It is the mental images of a child running and playing
And communicating with others in a
Perfectly normal manner that are marred when you face years of therapy
In order to simply get the child to eat by himself or herself,
To talk or walk and then run.

The preemie experience is a journey…A journey through your soul in order to find the faith and strength to cope,
A journey of the mind when you face the emotional weariness,
A journey of the heart…to accept that, no matter what,

This child is yours,
And you will love this child no matter what.

The Story of Nicholas' Early Arrival

Monday, April 20, 2009

First Doctor Appointment

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